It was already end-of-year school break. Time passed by really quick. The malay proverbs saying 'Time is gold' or 'Time is as sharp as sword's blade' might be true. The rainy season was on its way. Everyone was starting to prepare themselves for the season. Umbrellas and wellington boots were a must.
But me, that was not my priority. As a daughter of a cow shepherd, preparing the cows for the season was my top priority, second to none. Huh! The hardest time of the year was just around the corner. Every year I got this kind of worrisome feelings. I knew that was because things worked in a circle. They kept recycling the same events. Can or not I break the circle? What will happen if things worked in a chain rather than in circle? Those thoughts popped up in my mind.
"Arrgh..what happen to me. What is this circle and chain? That's not what I should worry about right now. The cows are waiting for me. I should clear away all the thoughts and rush there", I monologued. I hurried to the meadow where the cows were.
Most of the cows were not grassing and just kept standing. I knew why. They were thirsty. Just like human being, they won't be grassing until their thirst were quenched. Without hesitation, I took the buckets and filled them with water from the canal ran next to the meadow. I brought each bucket to each cow. I waited and stood in front of them to see if they need a second, but not too close. If I was too close, they might think that I wanted to do harm. Then maybe their instincts asked them to run away from me ignoring their thirst. Just like human, wasn't it? Our safety was always given the top priority. As a human, I wanted to give them both; the water and the feeling of secure.
After finishing the job, I went to the canal bank. The bank was grassless, and there was a line of about ten cahsew nut trees. I sat under one of the trees. The evening breeze was so calming and soothing. I was hoping those tranquility would last forever.
While observing the cows, the thoughts about the circle and chain came back. The moon moved in a circle, the earth moved in a circle, the sun moved in a circle. Those three were the essences of the life. They all moved in a circle. What about the life itsef? For a human to complete a life cycle, she needed to be born and death was the end. But, a life cycle? Cycle itself was a circle. Why didn't we call it a life chain? If I saw it in just a small point of view, life actually looked like a chain; birth and then death. However, if I expanded the scope of the view, it was a circle. For example; in a family, a son was born, he grew up, became a youth, got married, then again a son was born, then at the end he died. But that new son will again repeat the life of the previous son.
The same thing went for me, even in my simple daily life, it was a circle. I woke up, went to school, came back home, time for the cows, night came, I went to sleep and tomorrow morning, I woke up again. Other people might not care much about either this life was a circle or a chain. But for me who needed to work hard for living, it was a bother. Couldn't I stop the circle? Could I break the circle by not doing the same thing tomorrow? What if I didn't come to take care of the cows? The cows will die. With no income, no money, then I could die from starvation too..so, breaking the circle, will it bring calamity to life? What if we broke the circle the earth was moving on? Undoubtly, it will create a catastrophe.
I was deep in the thoughts, but suddenly..."Ohhh, No!!! One of the cow is delivering a baby!!". I was in a disaster. Noone was there who I could ask for help. The sky filled with dark clouds. I knew it was going to rain. I needed to take all the cows back home for the shelters. That newborn would not be able to walk properly to go back home. What should I do? My daily cycle was broken and it really gave me hard time. I regretted for thinking about those circles and chains. I should just follow the order of the world. If the world said life was a circle, then just admitted it.
Wednesday 24 March 2010
Monday 22 February 2010
BEST FRIEND
I ran as fast as I could. The sky was turning into orange-reddish colour. The sunset was coming on its way. Could I make it? Were they still there? A lot of things were on my mind. I tried my best to finish my farm’s work as quick as possible. Yesterday, I already missed the chance to play with my friends. I didn’t want to miss it again today.
Even if it just for a very short moment, I would always love to spend some times with my friends. I spent my day with school and working, so I barely had time to play. Sometimes, I never had a chance to go and play like other children did at all. I was still a child. I wanted to live as one too, but my life won’t allow me to have that privilege. I envied other children. They should be grateful to have such life.
Finally, I was there, at the playground where my friends always spent their evenings. Thank god, they were still there. My effort to run as fast as I could was not wasted. I smiled happily to myself.
In my hometown, children loved to play this one game. It was similar to high-jump, but instead of using the rod, we used rubber-band attached to one another producing a long chain of rubber band. Then, there will be two people holding the rubber chain. The height of the rubber chain depended on the height of the children holding it. The children will be divided into two groups. Group on their turn will try to jump over that rubber chain while two people from the other group will hold it. Unlike high-jumping, in this game, we could touch the chain. We could use any ways to pass over the rubber chain but we couldn’t use external help. Even though, it was not an actual high-jump, we still called this game as high-jump. I was good that this game as I was good at somersault-like technique when the height passes my own height.
They were playing high-jump happily and cheerfully. Again, I envied them. I wished my life would be that cheerful. I went close to them. “Can I join you guys?” I asked their permission. I really hoped that they will accept my request even though they already at the end of the game. They were already aware how my life was. Therefore, there was no way for them to reject me just because I came late.
“No, you can’t.” I was very shocked to hear the answer. I asked them the reason for not allowing me to join them. “You are too good to play with us. You always play too hard and never hold back. You make us look stupid”. Hehh?? I was isolated because I was too good? I would never expect that will be the reason, not even in my dream.
I was speechless. I didn’t fight back to defend myself. Maybe that was my own fault. I was used to work hard. My farming work demanded me to work hard. My upbringing taught me to never hold back. So, I didn’t know how to hold back. That was totally my own fault. Why? Why my own life always turned me down?
“We are playing here and you are hindering our game. Can you go to the other spot?” I heard one of them asking me to leave. I was too shock with their confession just now, so I just turned around to leave when I heard they asked me to. But suddenly, I heard a voice from my back.
“It is not her fault to be too good, but it is really because you all are too stupid. You all are 100 years too early to catch up with Eri. If she is good, then you should try your best to surpass her!” he yelled at them. I could see his angry face. “Nazmi, what are you doing? It is my fault not their fault.” He ignored my words. “Eri, ignore them. Let’s go play somewhere else. They are the stupidest creature I ever met. How can they throw away a friend just because you are good? That’s silly”.
I was touched by his action. He sacrificed his wonderful time and friendship with those friends just because to defend me. “Nazmi, can you become my best friend? No, I am wrong. You are actually already the best friend I ever met”
Even if it just for a very short moment, I would always love to spend some times with my friends. I spent my day with school and working, so I barely had time to play. Sometimes, I never had a chance to go and play like other children did at all. I was still a child. I wanted to live as one too, but my life won’t allow me to have that privilege. I envied other children. They should be grateful to have such life.
Finally, I was there, at the playground where my friends always spent their evenings. Thank god, they were still there. My effort to run as fast as I could was not wasted. I smiled happily to myself.
In my hometown, children loved to play this one game. It was similar to high-jump, but instead of using the rod, we used rubber-band attached to one another producing a long chain of rubber band. Then, there will be two people holding the rubber chain. The height of the rubber chain depended on the height of the children holding it. The children will be divided into two groups. Group on their turn will try to jump over that rubber chain while two people from the other group will hold it. Unlike high-jumping, in this game, we could touch the chain. We could use any ways to pass over the rubber chain but we couldn’t use external help. Even though, it was not an actual high-jump, we still called this game as high-jump. I was good that this game as I was good at somersault-like technique when the height passes my own height.
They were playing high-jump happily and cheerfully. Again, I envied them. I wished my life would be that cheerful. I went close to them. “Can I join you guys?” I asked their permission. I really hoped that they will accept my request even though they already at the end of the game. They were already aware how my life was. Therefore, there was no way for them to reject me just because I came late.
“No, you can’t.” I was very shocked to hear the answer. I asked them the reason for not allowing me to join them. “You are too good to play with us. You always play too hard and never hold back. You make us look stupid”. Hehh?? I was isolated because I was too good? I would never expect that will be the reason, not even in my dream.
I was speechless. I didn’t fight back to defend myself. Maybe that was my own fault. I was used to work hard. My farming work demanded me to work hard. My upbringing taught me to never hold back. So, I didn’t know how to hold back. That was totally my own fault. Why? Why my own life always turned me down?
“We are playing here and you are hindering our game. Can you go to the other spot?” I heard one of them asking me to leave. I was too shock with their confession just now, so I just turned around to leave when I heard they asked me to. But suddenly, I heard a voice from my back.
“It is not her fault to be too good, but it is really because you all are too stupid. You all are 100 years too early to catch up with Eri. If she is good, then you should try your best to surpass her!” he yelled at them. I could see his angry face. “Nazmi, what are you doing? It is my fault not their fault.” He ignored my words. “Eri, ignore them. Let’s go play somewhere else. They are the stupidest creature I ever met. How can they throw away a friend just because you are good? That’s silly”.
I was touched by his action. He sacrificed his wonderful time and friendship with those friends just because to defend me. “Nazmi, can you become my best friend? No, I am wrong. You are actually already the best friend I ever met”
Sunday 14 February 2010
FISH STEW AND FRIED EGGPLANTS
“Bye, have safe trips”, I wished my mother. Now, there were just me, my little brother and my father at home. My sister university’s entrance and registration will take place tomorrow. My mother and my older brother were accompanying my sister to her university in a place somewhere in west coast. I didn’t really know where the place was as I had never been out from my hometown. I wished I could go on the trip too but my mother didn’t allow me to as I still got school.
My mother gave some pocket money for the expenses during her absence. I smiled evilly. “She already filled the fridge to the fullest. I can ask my father to cook. Therefore, instead of using it to buy ready-made dinner, I can buy my new sketch book”, that were what I thought. For the whole day I was dreaming about what I should draw next and how much I will be in joy. I loved drawing so much as it could release my tension.
Without realizing it, it was already 8 o’clock in the night. I was hungry. I got out from my room to look for my father. He was in the living room, watching night news on the tv. I went close to him to ask about dinner. “Rika, go cook some dinner, I’m hungry’, he ordered me. Huh! That should be my line. “Dad, shouldn’t you are the one who supposedly going to cook for us?”
“I don’t know how to. You are the girl here, so go find some ways to make something edible to eat. Don’t worry, I don’t expect much from you”, he uttered the words leisurely. Ahhh!!! I was in stress. Why things turned the other way round? I didn’t know how to cook either.
I went to the fridge to see what was in it. There were a lot of eggplants. What should I do with eggplants? I took out two mackerels and three eggplants. It should be enough for tonight’s dinner. “Dad, are you okay with fish stew and fried eggplants?” He didn’t answer me. He just nodded lazily. I guessed he really didn’t expect much from me. I started cooking.
About an hour after that, the stew cooked, the eggplants fried. Everything was ready. I took a spoonful of both the stew and the fried eggplants to taste how good it was before serving. Hurmmm, surprisingly, it was good! “Wait a minute. If Dad knows that I am a good cook, then he will ask me to cook for eternity!” He shouldn’t know that I was a good cook. And if my mother also knew that I could cook, then my whole life definitely will be ruined. She will order me to cook every day too. And the most important thing was that I will never been able to taste my mother’s cooked food anymore. I didn’t want that to happen.
Without a second thought, I took a spoonful of salt and poured it into the stew, and then I took a spoonful of chilli powder and poured it into the fried eggplants. I served the dinner.
“Sis, did the fish fall into salt’s pond? Is this a fish stew or salt stew? I feel like drinking sea water. And are you mistaken peppers for eggplants? I feel like eating a fresh red pepper”, my little brother already started complaining. Hehehe. I guessed this will be the end of it. I smiled wickedly but quietly. I didn’t hear any comments from my father yet.
“I am touched. I didn’t expect you to understand me this much. Your salty stew will raise my low blood pressure and your spicy eggplants will make me sweat. I don’t need an exercise anymore”, he praised me cynically. I frowned to him. What was he? Some manga character? A normal person would already spout some harsh complaints. “You are my daughter after all. Of course I know you well. You just repeating what I did a long time ago when somebody asked me to do something that I didn’t want to do. Well, like father, like daughter. I know you did this intentionally”. Huh???
CERITA INI HANYALAH REKAAN SEMATA-MATA, TIADA KAITAN DENGAN YANG HIDUP DAN YANG MATI.
My mother gave some pocket money for the expenses during her absence. I smiled evilly. “She already filled the fridge to the fullest. I can ask my father to cook. Therefore, instead of using it to buy ready-made dinner, I can buy my new sketch book”, that were what I thought. For the whole day I was dreaming about what I should draw next and how much I will be in joy. I loved drawing so much as it could release my tension.
Without realizing it, it was already 8 o’clock in the night. I was hungry. I got out from my room to look for my father. He was in the living room, watching night news on the tv. I went close to him to ask about dinner. “Rika, go cook some dinner, I’m hungry’, he ordered me. Huh! That should be my line. “Dad, shouldn’t you are the one who supposedly going to cook for us?”
“I don’t know how to. You are the girl here, so go find some ways to make something edible to eat. Don’t worry, I don’t expect much from you”, he uttered the words leisurely. Ahhh!!! I was in stress. Why things turned the other way round? I didn’t know how to cook either.
I went to the fridge to see what was in it. There were a lot of eggplants. What should I do with eggplants? I took out two mackerels and three eggplants. It should be enough for tonight’s dinner. “Dad, are you okay with fish stew and fried eggplants?” He didn’t answer me. He just nodded lazily. I guessed he really didn’t expect much from me. I started cooking.
About an hour after that, the stew cooked, the eggplants fried. Everything was ready. I took a spoonful of both the stew and the fried eggplants to taste how good it was before serving. Hurmmm, surprisingly, it was good! “Wait a minute. If Dad knows that I am a good cook, then he will ask me to cook for eternity!” He shouldn’t know that I was a good cook. And if my mother also knew that I could cook, then my whole life definitely will be ruined. She will order me to cook every day too. And the most important thing was that I will never been able to taste my mother’s cooked food anymore. I didn’t want that to happen.
Without a second thought, I took a spoonful of salt and poured it into the stew, and then I took a spoonful of chilli powder and poured it into the fried eggplants. I served the dinner.
“Sis, did the fish fall into salt’s pond? Is this a fish stew or salt stew? I feel like drinking sea water. And are you mistaken peppers for eggplants? I feel like eating a fresh red pepper”, my little brother already started complaining. Hehehe. I guessed this will be the end of it. I smiled wickedly but quietly. I didn’t hear any comments from my father yet.
“I am touched. I didn’t expect you to understand me this much. Your salty stew will raise my low blood pressure and your spicy eggplants will make me sweat. I don’t need an exercise anymore”, he praised me cynically. I frowned to him. What was he? Some manga character? A normal person would already spout some harsh complaints. “You are my daughter after all. Of course I know you well. You just repeating what I did a long time ago when somebody asked me to do something that I didn’t want to do. Well, like father, like daughter. I know you did this intentionally”. Huh???
CERITA INI HANYALAH REKAAN SEMATA-MATA, TIADA KAITAN DENGAN YANG HIDUP DAN YANG MATI.
Sunday 7 February 2010
BROKEN MASKED-HEART.
"Are your parents coming?", again a teacher asked me. I didn't recall when I had became a very important person here. I supposed getting a good grade here was a sin to me. That was my punishment for being too good. Almost all the teachers had been asking me the question again and again. "No, teacher", I answered emotionlessly.
It was still early in the morning. If my parents happened to have free time, they still got time to arrive here before my graduation ceremony started. Most of my friends's parents already here. I was alone, wandering around the Continental Hotel's ballroom hoping for an impossible wish.
As long as remembered, my parents never came to my school activities, not even to parents-teachers meeting, not even once. At first I did ask them to go, but when they didn't turn up, it just broke my heart. Back then, I wasn't as strong as today. I was fragile. Therefore, since then I decided to not even showed them the invitation letters. I thought that it was better to be punished by teacher rather then having my heart broke apart.
For today's event, I did ask my parents to come for the sake of one of my beloved teachers. She really wished to see my parents and pleaded me to ask them to come. I could not refuse her wish. But as usual, the answer never been positive. It just as expected even though deep in my heart, I too was hoping them to say 'yes'. Today was a special day for me, I was hoping to share my success and triumph with them.
The ceremony started. I was already on the stage. I could hear one of my teachers was narrating my personal and academic backgrounds behind me. I was awarded as "The Best Student Of The Year". Then suddenly, on the principal's request, she announced for my parents to come onto the stage. I was shocked. I thought I already told her that they was not coming. "Maybe she forgot", I told myself. I turned to her and shook my head, signposted that my parents were not here. But the principal insisted my teacher on calling my parents. I clenched my fists to get hold of myself when my parents were called. There was no need to burst into tears here. I didn't want my friends saw me as a weakling. The problem was solved by asking my homeroom teacher to come instead of my parents.
After the ceremony, I rushed back to my room. I didn't think that I could hold myself any longer if I continued on observing how happy were my friends to be together with their parents at a celebration like this. On the way back, I bumped into one of my friends. He asked me to accompany him to go for a walk around the hotel's compound. We found a nice garden to sit down.
"Eri, if you want to cry, then just cry. No need to hide it. My parents didn't come either, but at least their names not been called. Therefore, somehow I know how you feel". I was a little surprised. I thought I had completely masked my heart but he could see through it. Maybe that was what people called a true friendship.
We stayed there for the whole evening, consoling our broken hearts. Again, for me, being too good was a sin. Getting good grades was as equal as breaking my own heart.
It was still early in the morning. If my parents happened to have free time, they still got time to arrive here before my graduation ceremony started. Most of my friends's parents already here. I was alone, wandering around the Continental Hotel's ballroom hoping for an impossible wish.
As long as remembered, my parents never came to my school activities, not even to parents-teachers meeting, not even once. At first I did ask them to go, but when they didn't turn up, it just broke my heart. Back then, I wasn't as strong as today. I was fragile. Therefore, since then I decided to not even showed them the invitation letters. I thought that it was better to be punished by teacher rather then having my heart broke apart.
For today's event, I did ask my parents to come for the sake of one of my beloved teachers. She really wished to see my parents and pleaded me to ask them to come. I could not refuse her wish. But as usual, the answer never been positive. It just as expected even though deep in my heart, I too was hoping them to say 'yes'. Today was a special day for me, I was hoping to share my success and triumph with them.
The ceremony started. I was already on the stage. I could hear one of my teachers was narrating my personal and academic backgrounds behind me. I was awarded as "The Best Student Of The Year". Then suddenly, on the principal's request, she announced for my parents to come onto the stage. I was shocked. I thought I already told her that they was not coming. "Maybe she forgot", I told myself. I turned to her and shook my head, signposted that my parents were not here. But the principal insisted my teacher on calling my parents. I clenched my fists to get hold of myself when my parents were called. There was no need to burst into tears here. I didn't want my friends saw me as a weakling. The problem was solved by asking my homeroom teacher to come instead of my parents.
After the ceremony, I rushed back to my room. I didn't think that I could hold myself any longer if I continued on observing how happy were my friends to be together with their parents at a celebration like this. On the way back, I bumped into one of my friends. He asked me to accompany him to go for a walk around the hotel's compound. We found a nice garden to sit down.
"Eri, if you want to cry, then just cry. No need to hide it. My parents didn't come either, but at least their names not been called. Therefore, somehow I know how you feel". I was a little surprised. I thought I had completely masked my heart but he could see through it. Maybe that was what people called a true friendship.
We stayed there for the whole evening, consoling our broken hearts. Again, for me, being too good was a sin. Getting good grades was as equal as breaking my own heart.
Thursday 4 February 2010
ROSES IN A BOUQUET
This poem is dedicated to my housemates:
You look like roses in a bouquet,
What a nice scene to see,
A bright color of inspiration,
A fragrant smell of happiness.
A world without you is loneliness,
A world with you is headache,
Loneliness or Headache?
Both are; heart chaos.
You look like roses in a bouquet,
What a nice scene to see,
A bright color of inspiration,
A fragrant smell of happiness.
A world without you is loneliness,
A world with you is headache,
Loneliness or Headache?
Both are; heart chaos.
Sunday 31 January 2010
THE COCK AND I
"Let's have chicken stew for today's dinner", my father requested. I knew what it took for that request to be fulfilled. I had no ways to decline it either. I was on my school break and had lots of free times.
My house stood on the middle of the meadow. It was an open house without any fence and gate. The nearest neighbour was about 100 metres away. My father took this opportunity to stock some hens and cocks just for his favourite food; chicken stew. He didn't like to use the chicken sold at the market. He liked the fresh one, processed by ourselves.
I went inside the bedroom and changed into short pant and short sleeve T-shirt. The most suitable outfit I could find. It will cost me lots of sweating to catch a cock in that hot and sunny mid-day. I took a rubber band and tied up my hair like a pony-tail so that it won't disturb my vision.
I went out to where my father was. "There you go. The black one", my father pointed to the cock that he wanted me to catch. Huh! It was hot. While sighing, I warned my father, "Dad, if I got high fever for running in this hot weather, I will blame your chicken stew!" Then I walked slowly into the meadow towards the cock. "Don't worry! I will use that chicken stew to treat you. Hahahah", I could hear my father was laughing. He really knew how to make full use of his daughter. I cynically respected him for that. But I didn't mind at all. I loved to make him happy. And I knew he loved me more than anything else.
I planned to catch the cock by walking slowly towards it, but it failed. The cock already realised my presence before I could get close enough to catch it with my bare hand. Now, the cock started running away from me. I got no other choices anymore except to follow the cock's pace. It ran around my house. I started running too, trying to get as close as possible to it.
I already ran around my house about 10 laps. I could feel the fatigue coming on its way. But the cock was still running hard. It felt like the cock was challenging me. It looked like it was saying, "A girl like you would never be able to catch a cock like me. Don't make me laugh." My pride was provoked. I could not stand it. I wanted to show to the cock what I was made of. How could it challenged me when it didn't even know how high my competitive streak was? It was higher than Mount Everest; the highest mountain in this world! I was furious with the cock. I wanted to turn it into the stew as soon as possible.
I chased it hard too. Now, the cock was just in front of me. But still I could not reach it with my bare hand. I became more furious. I didn't like to see it escaped just before my eyes. With the anger built up inside me, I jumped and flew over the cock. I fell directly on the cock. The cock was under my stomach. Thank goodness, I didn't hit it hard. It was still alive.
I heard my mother and my sister yelled while laughing from the verandah, "Hey, are you some kind of superman?" I gave them a little smirk. They didn't know how much my pride was hurt because of this one cock. I took the cock out from under my stomach. "This is what you got when you showed off in front of me. You should never try to underestimate a girl like me. But don't worry, I will repay you. I will turn you into a very delicious chicken stew. Hahahah", I laughed proudly and brought it to my father.
Cerita ini adelah rekaan semata-mata. Tiada kaitan dengan yang hidup ataupun yang mati.
My house stood on the middle of the meadow. It was an open house without any fence and gate. The nearest neighbour was about 100 metres away. My father took this opportunity to stock some hens and cocks just for his favourite food; chicken stew. He didn't like to use the chicken sold at the market. He liked the fresh one, processed by ourselves.
I went inside the bedroom and changed into short pant and short sleeve T-shirt. The most suitable outfit I could find. It will cost me lots of sweating to catch a cock in that hot and sunny mid-day. I took a rubber band and tied up my hair like a pony-tail so that it won't disturb my vision.
I went out to where my father was. "There you go. The black one", my father pointed to the cock that he wanted me to catch. Huh! It was hot. While sighing, I warned my father, "Dad, if I got high fever for running in this hot weather, I will blame your chicken stew!" Then I walked slowly into the meadow towards the cock. "Don't worry! I will use that chicken stew to treat you. Hahahah", I could hear my father was laughing. He really knew how to make full use of his daughter. I cynically respected him for that. But I didn't mind at all. I loved to make him happy. And I knew he loved me more than anything else.
I planned to catch the cock by walking slowly towards it, but it failed. The cock already realised my presence before I could get close enough to catch it with my bare hand. Now, the cock started running away from me. I got no other choices anymore except to follow the cock's pace. It ran around my house. I started running too, trying to get as close as possible to it.
I already ran around my house about 10 laps. I could feel the fatigue coming on its way. But the cock was still running hard. It felt like the cock was challenging me. It looked like it was saying, "A girl like you would never be able to catch a cock like me. Don't make me laugh." My pride was provoked. I could not stand it. I wanted to show to the cock what I was made of. How could it challenged me when it didn't even know how high my competitive streak was? It was higher than Mount Everest; the highest mountain in this world! I was furious with the cock. I wanted to turn it into the stew as soon as possible.
I chased it hard too. Now, the cock was just in front of me. But still I could not reach it with my bare hand. I became more furious. I didn't like to see it escaped just before my eyes. With the anger built up inside me, I jumped and flew over the cock. I fell directly on the cock. The cock was under my stomach. Thank goodness, I didn't hit it hard. It was still alive.
I heard my mother and my sister yelled while laughing from the verandah, "Hey, are you some kind of superman?" I gave them a little smirk. They didn't know how much my pride was hurt because of this one cock. I took the cock out from under my stomach. "This is what you got when you showed off in front of me. You should never try to underestimate a girl like me. But don't worry, I will repay you. I will turn you into a very delicious chicken stew. Hahahah", I laughed proudly and brought it to my father.
Cerita ini adelah rekaan semata-mata. Tiada kaitan dengan yang hidup ataupun yang mati.
Friday 29 January 2010
FORBIDDEN LOVE
Ring!Ring! The school bell was ringing. It was the end of today classes. I tidied up my desk, putting all the books and stationaries back into my dark green backpack. The color soothed my tired eyes. It was my favourite color. "Eji, how are you going back today?". It was my desk-mate and also my best friend. She knew that my bicycle was broken yesterday. She was offering me a lift. "Thanks, but I think my brother is coming to pick me up", I answered with the best smile I could give her.
I walked to the school entrance, looking for my brother in the crowd. But he was nowhere to be seen. "Did he forget?", I mumbled unsatisfiedly. I headed to the bench under the mango tree near the school gate and waited there. Twenty minutes had passed. I could not sit still anymore. The mid-day heat was so hot and my heart started to burst into anger. I was regreting for declining my friend's offer just now.
"Aaahhh! Who are you???", I shrieked. I was shocked. There was someone who was trying to hug me from behind. My brother definitely wouldn't do that. I knew him well. So, it was somebody else. I tried to get away. "There is nowhere for you to run. I am here to take you with me. Let me stay like this for a while", a soft voice whispered. I knew that voice well. A voice that could melt any girl's heart. That was what I thought.
"You, crocodile species! Am I your wife? And why are you here at the first place?", I tried to push him away but no use. He was far stronger than me. "You're not but I am going to make you one. I love you.Ohhh yeah...I went to grandmum house, your brother was busy helping her repaired the ceiling, so he asked me to fetch you". What a despicable brother I got. How could he asked him to fetch me up? It was just like asking me to enter a hungry tiger cage. I asked him to let me go. We were still in the school compounds. If anyone saw us like that, i would be in real trouble.
Before letting me go, once again he whispered in a low soft voice tone, "I love you. What you need to do is just to choose me". He really knew how to flatter my heart. I pissed off with myself to always fall into his sweet words. But he never forced me to love him. If I didn't like him to hug me, I could yell or make any commotion. But I didn't. Did I really in love with him? He drived me home. Did we really love each other?
Uncle Li and my mother were having some discussions when we got home. Uncle Li was my mother's younger brother and he was also Fadlen's father. My mother asked me to make some drinks for them all. I went to the kitchen and came back a while later. "Eji, do you know that Fadlen is your brother too? Your mum breast-fed him when he was small." For a moment, I thought my heart stopped beating. If I had had a heart defect, I might be no longer in this world. I turned to see Fadlen. His hands were trembling. His face was as pale as the dead. Suddenly, I felt the world fell apart into a black darkness. I didn't know what happened next. Did I even come out from that darkness? I didn't know. Who am I? A lover or a little sister? I didn't know anymore.
Cerita ini hanya rekaan semata-mata. Tiada kaitan dengan yang hidup ataupun yang mati.
I walked to the school entrance, looking for my brother in the crowd. But he was nowhere to be seen. "Did he forget?", I mumbled unsatisfiedly. I headed to the bench under the mango tree near the school gate and waited there. Twenty minutes had passed. I could not sit still anymore. The mid-day heat was so hot and my heart started to burst into anger. I was regreting for declining my friend's offer just now.
"Aaahhh! Who are you???", I shrieked. I was shocked. There was someone who was trying to hug me from behind. My brother definitely wouldn't do that. I knew him well. So, it was somebody else. I tried to get away. "There is nowhere for you to run. I am here to take you with me. Let me stay like this for a while", a soft voice whispered. I knew that voice well. A voice that could melt any girl's heart. That was what I thought.
"You, crocodile species! Am I your wife? And why are you here at the first place?", I tried to push him away but no use. He was far stronger than me. "You're not but I am going to make you one. I love you.Ohhh yeah...I went to grandmum house, your brother was busy helping her repaired the ceiling, so he asked me to fetch you". What a despicable brother I got. How could he asked him to fetch me up? It was just like asking me to enter a hungry tiger cage. I asked him to let me go. We were still in the school compounds. If anyone saw us like that, i would be in real trouble.
Before letting me go, once again he whispered in a low soft voice tone, "I love you. What you need to do is just to choose me". He really knew how to flatter my heart. I pissed off with myself to always fall into his sweet words. But he never forced me to love him. If I didn't like him to hug me, I could yell or make any commotion. But I didn't. Did I really in love with him? He drived me home. Did we really love each other?
Uncle Li and my mother were having some discussions when we got home. Uncle Li was my mother's younger brother and he was also Fadlen's father. My mother asked me to make some drinks for them all. I went to the kitchen and came back a while later. "Eji, do you know that Fadlen is your brother too? Your mum breast-fed him when he was small." For a moment, I thought my heart stopped beating. If I had had a heart defect, I might be no longer in this world. I turned to see Fadlen. His hands were trembling. His face was as pale as the dead. Suddenly, I felt the world fell apart into a black darkness. I didn't know what happened next. Did I even come out from that darkness? I didn't know. Who am I? A lover or a little sister? I didn't know anymore.
Cerita ini hanya rekaan semata-mata. Tiada kaitan dengan yang hidup ataupun yang mati.
Wednesday 27 January 2010
RAIN
I looked at the sky. I could not see any star. The moon was nowhere to be seen. I spreaded open my hands through the window into the darkness of the night. "Ouch, it's cold and it's hard!", I pulled back my hands. The drops of the rain hit my palm. It was raining cats and dogs since this morning.
I was still standing there when my sister came into the kitchen to prepare dinner for us. I turned my face to her. "What are we having tonight?" She did not answer. I bet she must be as worried as me. I continued looking at the sky; looking at the hard rain hitting the ground. My thought was no where else but to my farm.
It was just two hours ago I last visited the farm. The crops were still good. But what if the rain doesn't stop? What if the rain floods the farm? Ahhhh...I didn't want to think about that. I didn't want to have any 'if'. I wanted the rain to stop! "No,no...the rain will definitely stop", I monologued, trying to convince my own self.
"Hey, don't you have any homeworks to do? Do you think your homeworks will be done by keep standing there?", my sister broke my silence with a little frowning. My sister was a very strict girl and always putting serious look on her face. My younger brother who was two years younger than me, never came close to her. She was 20 years-old, eight years older than me. But, despite her serious look, she was a very nice person and the most important thing to me was that she was a very good cook. Maybe my little brother was still too young to understand her strictness and seriousness.
I replied," Do you think I am in any mood to do the homeworks while this heavy rain pouring down?" I heard my sister was sighing, letting me spacing out into the rain again. I knew that she also knew what I was thinking. And maybe at that time, she was also worrying the same thing as me but tried to hide it from this little sister.
" Sis, did we dig enough drainage for the water from the farm to flow into the canal?", I asked. I turned around to see her. Our eyes met. Her eyes told me that the answer was a NO if the rain continued. Again, I stared at the raindrops, worried.
" I am home". My mother was back. I run to see her at the front door. I could hear the wooden floor cracked sounds under my feet, but I didn't care. " Hey, do you want to turn this house into a ruin?", I heard my sister yelled from the kitchen but I didn't care. I wanted to know about the farm from my mother as soon as possible.
Huh? The farm already flooded? My mother and I were going back to the farm to drain the flood using hydro-engine. We were going to spend the night in the rain at the farm. My sister's class started in the morning, so she was staying home with my little brother. I walked in the rain. The rain was still heavy. The umbrella couldn't even protect me from the rain. Being frustrated with the umbrella, I put it aside. I could feel the rain dropped onto my face. It was painful, but my heart was far more painful.
I zoned out again. Wasn't rain supposedly be a bless from the God? Then, why it was raining heavily? Why the rain flooded my farm? Then, how I gonna live if my crops were gone? What a 12 years-old school girl was doing in the middle of the night in the heavy rain? Wasn't she supposedly be at home doing the school homeworks? Didn't the God love me? I asked my mother. She said that that was a small test from the God and I should accept it happily. Well, I was just an elementary school girl. Everything came from a mother was a truth. Never wondering about it further. Never trying to understand it further.
Cerita ini adelah rekaan semata-mata. Tiada kaitan antara yang hidup dan yang mati.
I was still standing there when my sister came into the kitchen to prepare dinner for us. I turned my face to her. "What are we having tonight?" She did not answer. I bet she must be as worried as me. I continued looking at the sky; looking at the hard rain hitting the ground. My thought was no where else but to my farm.
It was just two hours ago I last visited the farm. The crops were still good. But what if the rain doesn't stop? What if the rain floods the farm? Ahhhh...I didn't want to think about that. I didn't want to have any 'if'. I wanted the rain to stop! "No,no...the rain will definitely stop", I monologued, trying to convince my own self.
"Hey, don't you have any homeworks to do? Do you think your homeworks will be done by keep standing there?", my sister broke my silence with a little frowning. My sister was a very strict girl and always putting serious look on her face. My younger brother who was two years younger than me, never came close to her. She was 20 years-old, eight years older than me. But, despite her serious look, she was a very nice person and the most important thing to me was that she was a very good cook. Maybe my little brother was still too young to understand her strictness and seriousness.
I replied," Do you think I am in any mood to do the homeworks while this heavy rain pouring down?" I heard my sister was sighing, letting me spacing out into the rain again. I knew that she also knew what I was thinking. And maybe at that time, she was also worrying the same thing as me but tried to hide it from this little sister.
" Sis, did we dig enough drainage for the water from the farm to flow into the canal?", I asked. I turned around to see her. Our eyes met. Her eyes told me that the answer was a NO if the rain continued. Again, I stared at the raindrops, worried.
" I am home". My mother was back. I run to see her at the front door. I could hear the wooden floor cracked sounds under my feet, but I didn't care. " Hey, do you want to turn this house into a ruin?", I heard my sister yelled from the kitchen but I didn't care. I wanted to know about the farm from my mother as soon as possible.
Huh? The farm already flooded? My mother and I were going back to the farm to drain the flood using hydro-engine. We were going to spend the night in the rain at the farm. My sister's class started in the morning, so she was staying home with my little brother. I walked in the rain. The rain was still heavy. The umbrella couldn't even protect me from the rain. Being frustrated with the umbrella, I put it aside. I could feel the rain dropped onto my face. It was painful, but my heart was far more painful.
I zoned out again. Wasn't rain supposedly be a bless from the God? Then, why it was raining heavily? Why the rain flooded my farm? Then, how I gonna live if my crops were gone? What a 12 years-old school girl was doing in the middle of the night in the heavy rain? Wasn't she supposedly be at home doing the school homeworks? Didn't the God love me? I asked my mother. She said that that was a small test from the God and I should accept it happily. Well, I was just an elementary school girl. Everything came from a mother was a truth. Never wondering about it further. Never trying to understand it further.
Cerita ini adelah rekaan semata-mata. Tiada kaitan antara yang hidup dan yang mati.
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