I ran as fast as I could. The sky was turning into orange-reddish colour. The sunset was coming on its way. Could I make it? Were they still there? A lot of things were on my mind. I tried my best to finish my farm’s work as quick as possible. Yesterday, I already missed the chance to play with my friends. I didn’t want to miss it again today.
Even if it just for a very short moment, I would always love to spend some times with my friends. I spent my day with school and working, so I barely had time to play. Sometimes, I never had a chance to go and play like other children did at all. I was still a child. I wanted to live as one too, but my life won’t allow me to have that privilege. I envied other children. They should be grateful to have such life.
Finally, I was there, at the playground where my friends always spent their evenings. Thank god, they were still there. My effort to run as fast as I could was not wasted. I smiled happily to myself.
In my hometown, children loved to play this one game. It was similar to high-jump, but instead of using the rod, we used rubber-band attached to one another producing a long chain of rubber band. Then, there will be two people holding the rubber chain. The height of the rubber chain depended on the height of the children holding it. The children will be divided into two groups. Group on their turn will try to jump over that rubber chain while two people from the other group will hold it. Unlike high-jumping, in this game, we could touch the chain. We could use any ways to pass over the rubber chain but we couldn’t use external help. Even though, it was not an actual high-jump, we still called this game as high-jump. I was good that this game as I was good at somersault-like technique when the height passes my own height.
They were playing high-jump happily and cheerfully. Again, I envied them. I wished my life would be that cheerful. I went close to them. “Can I join you guys?” I asked their permission. I really hoped that they will accept my request even though they already at the end of the game. They were already aware how my life was. Therefore, there was no way for them to reject me just because I came late.
“No, you can’t.” I was very shocked to hear the answer. I asked them the reason for not allowing me to join them. “You are too good to play with us. You always play too hard and never hold back. You make us look stupid”. Hehh?? I was isolated because I was too good? I would never expect that will be the reason, not even in my dream.
I was speechless. I didn’t fight back to defend myself. Maybe that was my own fault. I was used to work hard. My farming work demanded me to work hard. My upbringing taught me to never hold back. So, I didn’t know how to hold back. That was totally my own fault. Why? Why my own life always turned me down?
“We are playing here and you are hindering our game. Can you go to the other spot?” I heard one of them asking me to leave. I was too shock with their confession just now, so I just turned around to leave when I heard they asked me to. But suddenly, I heard a voice from my back.
“It is not her fault to be too good, but it is really because you all are too stupid. You all are 100 years too early to catch up with Eri. If she is good, then you should try your best to surpass her!” he yelled at them. I could see his angry face. “Nazmi, what are you doing? It is my fault not their fault.” He ignored my words. “Eri, ignore them. Let’s go play somewhere else. They are the stupidest creature I ever met. How can they throw away a friend just because you are good? That’s silly”.
I was touched by his action. He sacrificed his wonderful time and friendship with those friends just because to defend me. “Nazmi, can you become my best friend? No, I am wrong. You are actually already the best friend I ever met”
Monday 22 February 2010
Sunday 14 February 2010
FISH STEW AND FRIED EGGPLANTS
“Bye, have safe trips”, I wished my mother. Now, there were just me, my little brother and my father at home. My sister university’s entrance and registration will take place tomorrow. My mother and my older brother were accompanying my sister to her university in a place somewhere in west coast. I didn’t really know where the place was as I had never been out from my hometown. I wished I could go on the trip too but my mother didn’t allow me to as I still got school.
My mother gave some pocket money for the expenses during her absence. I smiled evilly. “She already filled the fridge to the fullest. I can ask my father to cook. Therefore, instead of using it to buy ready-made dinner, I can buy my new sketch book”, that were what I thought. For the whole day I was dreaming about what I should draw next and how much I will be in joy. I loved drawing so much as it could release my tension.
Without realizing it, it was already 8 o’clock in the night. I was hungry. I got out from my room to look for my father. He was in the living room, watching night news on the tv. I went close to him to ask about dinner. “Rika, go cook some dinner, I’m hungry’, he ordered me. Huh! That should be my line. “Dad, shouldn’t you are the one who supposedly going to cook for us?”
“I don’t know how to. You are the girl here, so go find some ways to make something edible to eat. Don’t worry, I don’t expect much from you”, he uttered the words leisurely. Ahhh!!! I was in stress. Why things turned the other way round? I didn’t know how to cook either.
I went to the fridge to see what was in it. There were a lot of eggplants. What should I do with eggplants? I took out two mackerels and three eggplants. It should be enough for tonight’s dinner. “Dad, are you okay with fish stew and fried eggplants?” He didn’t answer me. He just nodded lazily. I guessed he really didn’t expect much from me. I started cooking.
About an hour after that, the stew cooked, the eggplants fried. Everything was ready. I took a spoonful of both the stew and the fried eggplants to taste how good it was before serving. Hurmmm, surprisingly, it was good! “Wait a minute. If Dad knows that I am a good cook, then he will ask me to cook for eternity!” He shouldn’t know that I was a good cook. And if my mother also knew that I could cook, then my whole life definitely will be ruined. She will order me to cook every day too. And the most important thing was that I will never been able to taste my mother’s cooked food anymore. I didn’t want that to happen.
Without a second thought, I took a spoonful of salt and poured it into the stew, and then I took a spoonful of chilli powder and poured it into the fried eggplants. I served the dinner.
“Sis, did the fish fall into salt’s pond? Is this a fish stew or salt stew? I feel like drinking sea water. And are you mistaken peppers for eggplants? I feel like eating a fresh red pepper”, my little brother already started complaining. Hehehe. I guessed this will be the end of it. I smiled wickedly but quietly. I didn’t hear any comments from my father yet.
“I am touched. I didn’t expect you to understand me this much. Your salty stew will raise my low blood pressure and your spicy eggplants will make me sweat. I don’t need an exercise anymore”, he praised me cynically. I frowned to him. What was he? Some manga character? A normal person would already spout some harsh complaints. “You are my daughter after all. Of course I know you well. You just repeating what I did a long time ago when somebody asked me to do something that I didn’t want to do. Well, like father, like daughter. I know you did this intentionally”. Huh???
CERITA INI HANYALAH REKAAN SEMATA-MATA, TIADA KAITAN DENGAN YANG HIDUP DAN YANG MATI.
My mother gave some pocket money for the expenses during her absence. I smiled evilly. “She already filled the fridge to the fullest. I can ask my father to cook. Therefore, instead of using it to buy ready-made dinner, I can buy my new sketch book”, that were what I thought. For the whole day I was dreaming about what I should draw next and how much I will be in joy. I loved drawing so much as it could release my tension.
Without realizing it, it was already 8 o’clock in the night. I was hungry. I got out from my room to look for my father. He was in the living room, watching night news on the tv. I went close to him to ask about dinner. “Rika, go cook some dinner, I’m hungry’, he ordered me. Huh! That should be my line. “Dad, shouldn’t you are the one who supposedly going to cook for us?”
“I don’t know how to. You are the girl here, so go find some ways to make something edible to eat. Don’t worry, I don’t expect much from you”, he uttered the words leisurely. Ahhh!!! I was in stress. Why things turned the other way round? I didn’t know how to cook either.
I went to the fridge to see what was in it. There were a lot of eggplants. What should I do with eggplants? I took out two mackerels and three eggplants. It should be enough for tonight’s dinner. “Dad, are you okay with fish stew and fried eggplants?” He didn’t answer me. He just nodded lazily. I guessed he really didn’t expect much from me. I started cooking.
About an hour after that, the stew cooked, the eggplants fried. Everything was ready. I took a spoonful of both the stew and the fried eggplants to taste how good it was before serving. Hurmmm, surprisingly, it was good! “Wait a minute. If Dad knows that I am a good cook, then he will ask me to cook for eternity!” He shouldn’t know that I was a good cook. And if my mother also knew that I could cook, then my whole life definitely will be ruined. She will order me to cook every day too. And the most important thing was that I will never been able to taste my mother’s cooked food anymore. I didn’t want that to happen.
Without a second thought, I took a spoonful of salt and poured it into the stew, and then I took a spoonful of chilli powder and poured it into the fried eggplants. I served the dinner.
“Sis, did the fish fall into salt’s pond? Is this a fish stew or salt stew? I feel like drinking sea water. And are you mistaken peppers for eggplants? I feel like eating a fresh red pepper”, my little brother already started complaining. Hehehe. I guessed this will be the end of it. I smiled wickedly but quietly. I didn’t hear any comments from my father yet.
“I am touched. I didn’t expect you to understand me this much. Your salty stew will raise my low blood pressure and your spicy eggplants will make me sweat. I don’t need an exercise anymore”, he praised me cynically. I frowned to him. What was he? Some manga character? A normal person would already spout some harsh complaints. “You are my daughter after all. Of course I know you well. You just repeating what I did a long time ago when somebody asked me to do something that I didn’t want to do. Well, like father, like daughter. I know you did this intentionally”. Huh???
CERITA INI HANYALAH REKAAN SEMATA-MATA, TIADA KAITAN DENGAN YANG HIDUP DAN YANG MATI.
Sunday 7 February 2010
BROKEN MASKED-HEART.
"Are your parents coming?", again a teacher asked me. I didn't recall when I had became a very important person here. I supposed getting a good grade here was a sin to me. That was my punishment for being too good. Almost all the teachers had been asking me the question again and again. "No, teacher", I answered emotionlessly.
It was still early in the morning. If my parents happened to have free time, they still got time to arrive here before my graduation ceremony started. Most of my friends's parents already here. I was alone, wandering around the Continental Hotel's ballroom hoping for an impossible wish.
As long as remembered, my parents never came to my school activities, not even to parents-teachers meeting, not even once. At first I did ask them to go, but when they didn't turn up, it just broke my heart. Back then, I wasn't as strong as today. I was fragile. Therefore, since then I decided to not even showed them the invitation letters. I thought that it was better to be punished by teacher rather then having my heart broke apart.
For today's event, I did ask my parents to come for the sake of one of my beloved teachers. She really wished to see my parents and pleaded me to ask them to come. I could not refuse her wish. But as usual, the answer never been positive. It just as expected even though deep in my heart, I too was hoping them to say 'yes'. Today was a special day for me, I was hoping to share my success and triumph with them.
The ceremony started. I was already on the stage. I could hear one of my teachers was narrating my personal and academic backgrounds behind me. I was awarded as "The Best Student Of The Year". Then suddenly, on the principal's request, she announced for my parents to come onto the stage. I was shocked. I thought I already told her that they was not coming. "Maybe she forgot", I told myself. I turned to her and shook my head, signposted that my parents were not here. But the principal insisted my teacher on calling my parents. I clenched my fists to get hold of myself when my parents were called. There was no need to burst into tears here. I didn't want my friends saw me as a weakling. The problem was solved by asking my homeroom teacher to come instead of my parents.
After the ceremony, I rushed back to my room. I didn't think that I could hold myself any longer if I continued on observing how happy were my friends to be together with their parents at a celebration like this. On the way back, I bumped into one of my friends. He asked me to accompany him to go for a walk around the hotel's compound. We found a nice garden to sit down.
"Eri, if you want to cry, then just cry. No need to hide it. My parents didn't come either, but at least their names not been called. Therefore, somehow I know how you feel". I was a little surprised. I thought I had completely masked my heart but he could see through it. Maybe that was what people called a true friendship.
We stayed there for the whole evening, consoling our broken hearts. Again, for me, being too good was a sin. Getting good grades was as equal as breaking my own heart.
It was still early in the morning. If my parents happened to have free time, they still got time to arrive here before my graduation ceremony started. Most of my friends's parents already here. I was alone, wandering around the Continental Hotel's ballroom hoping for an impossible wish.
As long as remembered, my parents never came to my school activities, not even to parents-teachers meeting, not even once. At first I did ask them to go, but when they didn't turn up, it just broke my heart. Back then, I wasn't as strong as today. I was fragile. Therefore, since then I decided to not even showed them the invitation letters. I thought that it was better to be punished by teacher rather then having my heart broke apart.
For today's event, I did ask my parents to come for the sake of one of my beloved teachers. She really wished to see my parents and pleaded me to ask them to come. I could not refuse her wish. But as usual, the answer never been positive. It just as expected even though deep in my heart, I too was hoping them to say 'yes'. Today was a special day for me, I was hoping to share my success and triumph with them.
The ceremony started. I was already on the stage. I could hear one of my teachers was narrating my personal and academic backgrounds behind me. I was awarded as "The Best Student Of The Year". Then suddenly, on the principal's request, she announced for my parents to come onto the stage. I was shocked. I thought I already told her that they was not coming. "Maybe she forgot", I told myself. I turned to her and shook my head, signposted that my parents were not here. But the principal insisted my teacher on calling my parents. I clenched my fists to get hold of myself when my parents were called. There was no need to burst into tears here. I didn't want my friends saw me as a weakling. The problem was solved by asking my homeroom teacher to come instead of my parents.
After the ceremony, I rushed back to my room. I didn't think that I could hold myself any longer if I continued on observing how happy were my friends to be together with their parents at a celebration like this. On the way back, I bumped into one of my friends. He asked me to accompany him to go for a walk around the hotel's compound. We found a nice garden to sit down.
"Eri, if you want to cry, then just cry. No need to hide it. My parents didn't come either, but at least their names not been called. Therefore, somehow I know how you feel". I was a little surprised. I thought I had completely masked my heart but he could see through it. Maybe that was what people called a true friendship.
We stayed there for the whole evening, consoling our broken hearts. Again, for me, being too good was a sin. Getting good grades was as equal as breaking my own heart.
Thursday 4 February 2010
ROSES IN A BOUQUET
This poem is dedicated to my housemates:
You look like roses in a bouquet,
What a nice scene to see,
A bright color of inspiration,
A fragrant smell of happiness.
A world without you is loneliness,
A world with you is headache,
Loneliness or Headache?
Both are; heart chaos.
You look like roses in a bouquet,
What a nice scene to see,
A bright color of inspiration,
A fragrant smell of happiness.
A world without you is loneliness,
A world with you is headache,
Loneliness or Headache?
Both are; heart chaos.
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