A CIRCLE OR A CHAIN

It was already end-of-year school break. Time passed by really quick. The malay proverbs saying 'Time is gold' or 'Time is as sharp as sword's blade' might be true. The rainy season was on its way. Everyone was starting to prepare themselves for the season. Umbrellas and wellington boots were a must.

But me, that was not my priority. As a daughter of a cow shepherd, preparing the cows for the season was my top priority, second to none. Huh! The hardest time of the year was just around the corner. Every year I got this kind of worrisome feelings. I knew that was because things worked in a circle. They kept recycling the same events. Can or not I break the circle? What will happen if things worked in a chain rather than in circle? Those thoughts popped up in my mind.

"Arrgh..what happen to me. What is this circle and chain? That's not what I should worry about right now. The cows are waiting for me. I should clear away all the thoughts and rush there", I monologued. I hurried to the meadow where the cows were.

Most of the cows were not grassing and just kept standing. I knew why. They were thirsty. Just like human being, they won't be grassing until their thirst were quenched. Without hesitation, I took the buckets and filled them with water from the canal ran next to the meadow. I brought each bucket to each cow. I waited and stood in front of them to see if they need a second, but not too close. If I was too close, they might think that I wanted to do harm. Then maybe their instincts asked them to run away from me ignoring their thirst. Just like human, wasn't it? Our safety was always given the top priority. As a human, I wanted to give them both; the water and the feeling of secure.

After finishing the job, I went to the canal bank. The bank was grassless, and there was a line of about ten cahsew nut trees. I sat under one of the trees. The evening breeze was so calming and soothing. I was hoping those tranquility would last forever.

While observing the cows, the thoughts about the circle and chain came back. The moon moved in a circle, the earth moved in a circle, the sun moved in a circle. Those three were the essences of the life. They all moved in a circle. What about the life itsef? For a human to complete a life cycle, she needed to be born and death was the end. But, a life cycle? Cycle itself was a circle. Why didn't we call it a life chain? If I saw it in just a small point of view, life actually looked like a chain; birth and then death. However, if I expanded the scope of the view, it was a circle. For example; in a family, a son was born, he grew up, became a youth, got married, then again a son was born, then at the end he died. But that new son will again repeat the life of the previous son.

The same thing went for me, even in my simple daily life, it was a circle. I woke up, went to school, came back home, time for the cows, night came, I went to sleep and tomorrow morning, I woke up again. Other people might not care much about either this life was a circle or a chain. But for me who needed to work hard for living, it was a bother. Couldn't I stop the circle? Could I break the circle by not doing the same thing tomorrow? What if I didn't come to take care of the cows? The cows will die. With no income, no money, then I could die from starvation too..so, breaking the circle, will it bring calamity to life? What if we broke the circle the earth was moving on? Undoubtly, it will create a catastrophe.

I was deep in the thoughts, but suddenly..."Ohhh, No!!! One of the cow is delivering a baby!!". I was in a disaster. Noone was there who I could ask for help. The sky filled with dark clouds. I knew it was going to rain. I needed to take all the cows back home for the shelters. That newborn would not be able to walk properly to go back home. What should I do? My daily cycle was broken and it really gave me hard time. I regretted for thinking about those circles and chains. I should just follow the order of the world. If the world said life was a circle, then just admitted it.